Dean of the Dead
by snchills
Summary: Just a little fun ficlet. Dean has to visit the Dentist and has a reaction to his pain medication. Will any mini bar be safe? Not a death fic I promise.


Disclaimer: I don't own them. I'm not very good at sharing so they won't let me take them home anymore.

Despite the title this is not a death fic, just a little weird story that popped in my head. Enjoy.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Awww man this is crap." Dean said holding an ice pack to his mouth. The pain evident in his face made Sam a little sympathetic but not much.

"Dude face it, you're gonna have to go to the dentist whether you like it or not" Sam said trying not to laugh at the sight of Dean and his ice pack. The pain that had started yesterday with an impacted wisdom tooth had slowly progressed to a huge swelling on the right side of Dean's face.

"Dude you look like a chipmunk, come on now. You've faced demons and witches, so be a man and make the damn appointment." Sam handed Dean the phone book. Dean swallowed hard but took the phone book anyways.

"I don't think I can talk Sam, just find a guy for me, pleaseeeeeeee." He said sitting down hard at the kitchenette table. Trying his best to mimic Sam's puppy dog eyes, Dean knew he had his brother in the palm of his hand when Sam took the phone book back.

"You're pathetic you know it?" Sam chuckled as he started to flip through the phone book. After a few minutes Sam started making phone calls. The first couple of dentists didn't take new patients.

"Damn aren't they in the business of making money" Dean moaned when he heard that excuse.

"Guess not." Sam answered as he started to dial another number. That dentist wasn't open that day.

"Well it is a Saturday Dean. Guess most dentists have the day off too." Sam was beginning to think this wasn't going to be as easy as he thought.

"God, dude I'm dying here." Dean felt around at the outside of his face. The lump in his jaw noticeably bigger than it was that morning.

"Dean I think that's getting worse." Sam said as he winced looking over at his brother's face.

"No shit geek boy. Come on, someone has to be open today." Dean was so desperate he was willing to try and take it out himself at this point. Sam scanned further down the yellow pages.

"Hey I think guy this will work. He's open today, takes new patients and emergencies, and damn he even takes our insurance." Sam looked up and smiled as he read off the ad.

"Good dude lets go." Dean got up and grab the Impala's keys.

"Don't you want to call and make an appointment first?" Sam got up as well surprised at his brothers sudden reaction.

"And give him a chance to say no, no way let go." Dean was heading over to the drivers side when he stopped and looked back at his brother. "I can't believe I'm saying this but would you mind driving. I just want to lay here in the seat with this pack on and try not to die.

"Sure Dean." Sam said laughing. He caught the keys Dean tossed at him and they traded spaces. Minutes later they were inside the office standing in front of the receptionist who gave Dean a sympathetic look when she saw his face.

"You're in luck, the Doctor is freed up this afternoon. He was thinking about going home early. Why don't you fill out the insurance paperwork and I'll let the Doctor know what's going on." She gave them both a smile before turning and heading back down the hall to another office. Sam took the clipboard and started to fill out the paper work much to Dean's relief.

"When was the last time you went to the dentist Dean?" Sam asked looking over the forms.

"I don't know, maybe when I had that tooth knocked loose in Virginia 6 years ago. It's not like we get to the dentist regularly Sam." Dean really was starting to look miserable. Sam nodded knowing how true that statement was. The only time they ever saw a Doctor was when they were getting treatment for various injuries, dentist appointments were practically non existent.

"It's a wonder we have any teeth left Dean." Sam smiled and wrote down the pertinent information. Finally the receptionist came back and Sam handed her back the clipboard.

"Dr. Doom will be with you in a moment, um Mr. Winston." She said sitting down at her desk scanning the patient's name. Dean shot Sam a look of horror and Sam looked back surprised at the name as well.

"You brought me to a dentist named Dr. Doom? What the hell were you thinking?" Dean whispered to his brother standing next to him.

"I was thinking my big brother was in a lot of pain. Truthfully I didn't think about it when I saw the name in the phone book. I thought he might pronounce it differently, like 'Dome'. How was I supposed to know? Listen we're already here you might as well stay and get your tooth taken care of Dean. I don't think we have too many other options here." Sam whispered back trying to convince him to stay.

Suddenly the door opened and the Doctor was standing in the doorway.

"Mr. Winston, I'm Dr. Doom, and yes that is how I pronounce it, but I assure you, you don't have to be afraid of me." he said holding out his hand to shake a hesitant Dean's.

"Its cool doc, it's just, I wasn't expecting, well you know." Dean shook the doctor's hand as he stammered on.

"Yes I understand son. You're not the first to be hesitant and I'm sure you won't be the last. Why don't you come on back and we'll take a look at the tooth that's been giving you so much trouble." He said patting Dean on the shoulder and pointing him down the hallway to his examining room. Dean's followed the dentist down the hall with some trepidation until he spotted the hot dental assistant arranging the dentist's tools on the tray next to the chair. Leading Dean to the chair the dentist smiled as he saw Dean's reaction to his assistant.

"Mr. Winston this is Julie my dental assistant." Once again he was glad he had hired the good looking young lady. Sure she graduated at the top of her class but it really was because of the obvious reaction she got from the patients. Without fail every male patient and even some female patients, suddenly were all about having the dentist work on their mouths as long as she stayed in the room and Dean was no exception. He settled into the chair was staring at Julie when the Doctor interrupted him with questions about his tooth. It took him a few seconds to realize the Doctor was talking to him when he looked back at the Doctor and started to answer him.

Doctor Doom started to examine him and after a few minutes sent Dean down the hall with Julie to do x-rays of his mouth. He waited in the chair for an eternity until the dentist and Julie returned to the room with the set of x-rays.

"Yes it is as we feared Mr. Winston. Your lower wisdom tooth is quite impacted. I suggest we get started on removing it that is if you have the time today." The Doctor looked back at Dean and waited for confirmation that he wanted to continue.

"Just how long are we talking about doc cuz I got my brother waiting for me in the waiting room and if this is gonna take along time I'll just send him home and he can comeback and pick me up later." Dean didn't care how long it took as long as he got to look at sexy Julie.

"Well Mr. Winston, we are talking about oral surgery here. It looks like the roots of this tooth have grown quite deep into your jaw. I'm thinking 2 maybe 3 hours." The Doctor told him truthfully. Dean thought about how bored Sam would be sitting in the waiting room without his laptop to play on.

"Let me go out and tell my brother to go home and I'll call him when we get done." Dean said getting up from the chair. The dentist nodded his approval.

"We'll be back down the hall when you get through" Dr. Doom and Julie then went back to the examination room and started to get ready. After sending Sam home, with a quick description of the assistant, Dean headed back down the hall and sat down in the chair anxious for it to be over.

"Mr. Winston, since this involves actual surgery I'm gonna suggest putting you out. If this doesn't appeal to you I can also try several well place shots of novacane but you may still feel some pain."

Knowing what he already was feeling with this tooth, and not wanting to look too unmanly in front of Julie, Dean opted for being knocked out. A few minutes later the Doctor placed a mask over Dean's face and he was in la la land. 2 ½ hours later Dean woke up and immediately felt the tender hole in his jaw where the tooth had been. Julie was sitting nearby and as she saw him awake she got up and went to go get the Doctor.

"Mr. Winston, glad to have you back with us. Your tooth was quite encased in your jaw but I was able to remove it, roots, and all. Now I'm gonna prescribe some antibiotics for the initial infection and some Vicatin for the pain. If you take this paperwork down to my receptionist she will be more than happy to call your brother." He wrote the two prescriptions on a pad and handed them to Dean with his paperwork.

"Thanks doc." Dean mumbled gauze still in his mouth where the surgery took place. He shook the doctor's hand again and headed down the hall to the waiting area. Looking around the office as he got back out front he was disappointed not to see Julie again.

"She just went home." The receptionist said amused when she saw Dean looking around. Slightly embarrassed at getting caught, he handed the women his paperwork and listened as she called his brother on the phone. Feeling a little lightheaded Dean sat down on a nearby chair and waited for Sam, relieved when his brother showed up only a few minutes later.

"I was down the street at this really cool bookstore." Sam said as he gave his brother a hand getting up. Dean rolled his eyes at his little brother. Only Sam could find a way to spend almost three hours inside a bookstore and make it sound fun. After stopping to pickup his prescriptions, Sam and Dean headed back to the motel room. Still feeling the effects of the extraction, Dean popped a Vicatin into his mouth and went to lie down on his bed.

"Dude do you think you should be taking one of those so soon. I mean they knocked you out and all. It might be a bit of over kill don't you think?" Sam asked concerned as he saw his brother pop the pill.

"Sam listen, my jaw feels like it's on fire. I'm only taking one, it's cool." Dean said reassuring his little brother. "Besides, the doc said I should take one if I feel any pain and trust me I feel pain." Sam looked over at Dean lying on the bed not sure if he should be concerned or not.

"Dean…" he started to say something else to his prone brother, but was answered by the sounds of soft snores.

"Boom, boom out like a light." He laughed to himself. Two hours later, Sam was working on his laptop when he noticed his brother moving around on top his bed. Groaning a little Dean sat up and looked around with a blank look on his face. Then he got up and moved over to the mini bar the motel had provided and proceeded to start to eat just about everything inside.

"Dean what the hell are you doing?" Sam got up and ran over to his feasting brother. Dean looked up at him, candy shoved in his mouth, and continued with the blank stare. Sam kept calling his brothers name while Dean ate a few more candy bars and got no response. Grabbing one of the mini liquor bottles, Dean was about to drink it when Sam knocked it from his hand and reach inside the mini bar to remove the rest of them.

"What the hell Dean, are you trying to kill yourself?" Sam said as he grabbed the dozen or so liquor bottles. Quickly hiding them he turned to see Dean heading to the trash can and pull out left overs from the previous night's dinner.

"Dude that's just gross." Sam winced as he saw Dean swallow the half eaten burger and fries he hadn't finished the night before. Inspired with an idea, Sam searched around for Dean's camera phone, and took a couple of quick pics of Dean eating from the trash can.

Finally after wiping his chocolate and grease covered fingers on his shirt, Dean turned around and headed back to his bed. Falling face first on the bed he didn't respond when Sam called his name. Sam move over and quickly checked his brother's pulse and was relieved to find it strongly beating. Then he sat down on his own bed and started to laugh.

"He's never gonna believe this." Leaning over the bed he got up close to Dean's chocolate covered face and took another pic. Then he leaned back and took a wide shot of Dean half on and half off the bed.

"Ahh Dean, Dean, Dean, I've got you now." He said flipping the phone shut and setting it back down on the nightstand. It was night time when Dean decided to wake up again. This time when he looked around he was looking at his shirt and hands.

"Damn Sammy what the hell happened?" he asked as he spotted the grease and chocolate mess all over himself.

"Take a look in the mirror dude." Sam said as he started to laugh. Confused Dean got up and went into the bathroom.

"Holy shit! What the hell did I do?" Dean asked shocked as he walked out of the bathroom. Laughing even harder at his brother's reaction he quickly stopped when Dean scowled at him.

"Sammy I'm serious."

"What's the last thing you remember Dean." Sam asked trying to get serious again.

"I don't know dude, you picking me up from the dentist's office, getting back to the motel room." Dean was annoyed as he grabbed a towel and started to wipe off his hands and face. Changing into a clean shirt he looked down at the mini bar and noticed all the wrappers and trash all over the floor.

"No way." He asked horrified as he saw the wreckage of the mini bar.

"Yes way big brother." Sam started laughing again. "You even ate out of the trash can."

"NO WAY!" Disgusted, Dean almost gagged when he looked down at the empty wrappers from last night's burger and fries. He turned ran into the bathroom and started to brush his teeth. "Why didn't you stop me dude?"

"And miss the sight of my brother eating garbage, no way, it was priceless." Sam continued to laugh dodging the towel Dean tossed at his head. Picking up Dean's camera phone he wiggled it in front of his brother. "I even have the pictures to prove it."

Dean launched at him and they wrestled for the phone until Dean pinned his little brother down and grabbed it out of his hand. Sitting up he flipped opened the phone and gasped as he scrolled through the pics. He quickly deleted them and threw his phone onto his bed.

"I must have had a reaction to the painkillers." Dean said scratching his head. Then he gently rubbed his sore jaw and was relieved to feel the swelling was down.

"You think? Your little feast is gonna set us back. Do you realize how much they charge for just one of those candy bars?"

"Don't worry Sammy boy, Mr. Winston is paying for them." Dean got up and started to clean up the evidence of his candy rampage, not before flinging a left over candybar at his brother.

Days later, Dean was checking his email when he got a strange one from an address he didn't recognize. Curious at the subject line 'Dean of the dead' he clicked it open and watched as four photos started to download. As each one came into view Dean felt his blood pressure go higher.

"SAMMMYYYYY"

Looking up as Dean screamed his name, Sam saw what his brother was looking at and bolted for the door.

"You son of a bitch." Dean screamed at him as he chased him down the street.

The end.

Authors note. I don't know where this story came from. I had the title suddenly pop in my head and the rest just kinda came out of nowhere. Hope you had a chuckle. If so let me know.


End file.
